It’s times like these where I wish someone would understand me. Where I wasn’t trapped in my own mind with all these lingering thoughts of whether I want to make it till tomorrow didn’t exist. I so desperately want to rid this depression but no matter what I do it always comes backs and haunts me. In my dreams I lay awake at night hoping that someone will understand what I’m going through, but when I awake from the dreams I’m here again living the shadows of who they want me to be.
I succeed at things that they want to be good at it. I’m living the happiness of someone else and it’s so engraved in me that I don’t know how to stop it. Whenever I try to show individuality they bring me back to the herd like a pack of wolves, punishing me for being different. Stripping me of my clothes and ordering that I put on a jail jumper and surrender to them like I always have done. But the punishment I receive is mental, it’s from the thoughts I think alone. From my own cursed mind, that’s doing nothing but destroying me from within. That’s controlling my every thought, emotion and actions. My mind powerful enough to create the depressing that my heart is trying so hard to get rid of. Yet my mind causes the tears out of my eyes when I start feeling depressed and alone.
At times like these I wish I had someone to talk to, but instead I’m talking to myself. The being that’s been doing nothing but make me depressed in the first place.